Woah … if ppl just read a one page book that informs … *you don’t have to “abuse” your child to fuck them up and bear some responsibility for that* … it would be good. You don’t have to be perfect … the “good enough mother” is definitely good enough. That said, we are a result of nature/nurture/fate, some combination thereof (I agree, nature is huge); a misalignment between infant& “mom” (primary caregiver) can cause attachment disruptions w/consequence … no fault of the caregiver but … can be enlightened by information. Happens to arrogant privileged ppl of means a lot. It’s not a crapshoot. Over-indulgence can be as damaging to development as w/holding &aggression. It’s not just “love” it’s competent parental love … it’s not just another relationship. Parents shdn’t assume there’s no help to be had … because neanderthals did it … before the shit hits the fan. Zero-5 is where the rubber hits the road … too short &precious a time to be cavalier. There’s no one way, but learning of the experiences &opinions (particularly those whose profession it is to study circumstances, attitudes &outcomes) can be helpful. Please don’t dismiss ppl for wanting outside information &perspective. For new parents interested, Daniel Siegel *Parenting from the Inside Out* is a great read … if they’ve the openness &capacity to take it in. As the old saying goes … if you want to love a child love their mother (again, primary caregivers) … that requires interpersonal, community &public policy supports … including time to go to a library &read some parenting books if you want … probably will do more good than harm for most ppl. Suburban moms competing ¬ sleeping may be who the pop junk books are written for &marketed to but that is not the universe of parenting literature.
Woah … if ppl just read a one page book that informs … *you don’t have to “abuse” your child to fuck them up and bear some responsibility for that* … it would be good. You don’t have to be perfect … the “good enough mother” is definitely good enough. That said, we are a result of nature/nurture/fate, some combination thereof (I agree, nature is huge); a misalignment between infant& “mom” (primary caregiver) can cause attachment disruptions w/consequence … no fault of the caregiver but … can be enlightened by information. Happens to arrogant privileged ppl of means a lot. It’s not a crapshoot. Over-indulgence can be as damaging to development as w/holding &aggression. It’s not just “love” it’s competent parental love … it’s not just another relationship. Parents shdn’t assume there’s no help to be had … because neanderthals did it … before the shit hits the fan. Zero-5 is where the rubber hits the road … too short &precious a time to be cavalier. There’s no one way, but learning of the experiences &opinions (particularly those whose profession it is to study circumstances, attitudes &outcomes) can be helpful. Please don’t dismiss ppl for wanting outside information &perspective. For new parents interested, Daniel Siegel *Parenting from the Inside Out* is a great read … if they’ve the openness &capacity to take it in. As the old saying goes … if you want to love a child love their mother (again, primary caregivers) … that requires interpersonal, community &public policy supports … including time to go to a library &read some parenting books if you want … probably will do more good than harm for most ppl. Suburban moms competing ¬ sleeping may be who the pop junk books are written for &marketed to but that is not the universe of parenting literature.